August 2022

Changing Definitions and The Clapping Useless Useful Idiots

Changing terms and names is nothing new. Since I was a fresh faced happy young boy with a dangerously chiselled chin, plenty terms have been scrapped and replaced with something new and allegedly less offensive. Midget was changed to dwarf, because apparently small people would be less offended when referred to as a mythical creature from fantasy fiction. Before my time, people were referred to as coloured, which was then changed and updated so many times that it practically went full circle and now using the term “people of colour” is just fine. Once upon a time the word imbecile was just dandy, before being overly used as an insult, so they replaced it with retard, a much kinder label to use for the mentally insufficient. Now calling someone a retard is considered far worse than calling them an imbecile. The apparent hateful power of the label retard somehow went on to completely outshine the hateful power of the term imbecile, despite being created to do good in the world. That is quite retarded. 

We’re use to new terms and names. I sometimes think it’s done to confuse the older generation, who have had to update their vocabulary every 5 to 10 years in order to avoid being arrested for accidental hate crimes. I get it, for the most part, things change, names change. Prince became a symbol that you couldn’t find on any computer keyboard, and therefore missed out on the email marketing revolution. Cat Stevens became Yusuf Islam so he could get banned from America and fulfill his dream of never having to endure the slop-obsessed nation of diabetes. Facebook has become Meta, because the name Facebook is synonymous with eye cancer and the smell of abandoned sewage works. They changed Burma to Myanmar because they thought it might avert any coups orchestrated by the CIA because most Americans are geographically limited even on their best days.

 Despite all these terms and names being changed, the meanings have remained the same. Snickers still has the same ingredients as Marathon. Ho Chi Minh city still stinks as much as Saigon (it really does smell there). When they changed Opal Fruits to Starburst, they didn’t change it from a chewy fruit sweet to lumps of hard meat lozenges, it was still the same thing. They also didn’t change the entire concept of the sweets to lumps of hard meat lozenges and tell you that it had always been that way, even though you blatantly knew this wasn’t the case. They also didn’t change them to hard lumps of meat lozenges and lie about the definition and get backed up by useless useful idiots who had developed some kind of mass amnesia brought on by watching too much television. The folks at Opal Fruits wouldn’t have the balls to do such a thing, nor the levels of insanity to think they could pull it off. The legacy media, aka the fear machine, and their man-sauna buddies the government have done such a thing, and more than once during a time where confidence in them is at its lowest and suspicion of them is at an all time high. They are truly insane and as equally disrespectful. 

There was a time when the word vaccine meant a substance injected into your body that would prevent you from contracting a deadly virus or disease. When the masters of mis-information first announced the covid vaccine, they insisted it would stop the virus dead in it’s tracks and effectively end the pandemic. Despite throughout our entire medical scientific history no coronavirus vaccine had ever been successfully developed, suddenly operation warp-speed had done so and in impressive, or frightening if your prefer, time. They said get this new technology injected into you and you can spend the rest of your days covid-fear-free. Then it turned out the vaccine didn’t actually do that, it actually just helped you avoid serious illness and reduce transmission. Then it stopped being so affective at reducing transmission and it’s effectiveness wained over time, so you needed countless boosters every 3 to 4 days, and so on and so on. Instead of saying, “hey, we thought it would work like that, but turns out it doesn’t, soz!”, they just decided to change the definition of what a vaccine is and does and pretend they didn’t make any of the audacious claims they definitely made.

Roll on to this year, and it’s quite clear we are in a recession, and a very big one which has yet to hit it’s destructive peak. The American establishment decided that they didn’t want to be in a recession, because then they’d have to admit that constant lockdowns and printing more money than has ever been printed in history was a bit of a boo-boo. Luckily for them, they’d already pulled off this kind of NewSpeak tactic and they were good to do it again. Instead of a recession being defined as two quarters of negative economic growth, which currently is still the definition in the UK, they changed it to something else: a significant decline in economic activity that is spread across the economy and that lasts more than a few months. Apparently this hasn’t happened yet, and despite everything falling apart and the price of Fredo now being £63.28, the economy is doing just fine. Petrol, or as the Americans call it “water”, is only expensive as hell because big bad Vlad invaded Ukraine for a giggle. Food shortages are due to racists burying food for similar giggles. And inflation is due to monkeypox. 

That redefine what something means, tell it to our faces, and seem to get away with it. Manipulation of stats and data is nothing new in the political game. If gun crime deaths are up, you simply ask hospitals to change the cause of death from gunshot victims from “death by gunshot wound to the head” to “death by brain trauma”, and so on and so on. The question is: how the shit do they get away with doing this in the twenty first century? We have so much access to information, not just current, but archived information. You can change a definition on Wikipedia, but you can also got to the archived version and see what things use to mean. You can watch any video of any politician or media hack spewing their lies into the camera and fact-check them to hell and back. And yet nothing happens. Why?

The fact-checkers play a role for sure, never has a term needed an actual redefinition as much as fact-checker. Actually I’m wrong, we don’t change the definition, we change the term: bozo-propagandist-loons. What we must accept is that it those who prop up these bozos and their lies and their misinformation and great disdain for us all are Joe and Jane Average. Joe and Jane, as much as we enjoy exchanges with them in the queue at Tesco, are always messing things up for everyone else. 

The establishment of media and government openly despise most people, and that includes Joe and Jane Average. However, Joe and Jane Average don’t seem to even notice. At a time when more and more people seem to be waking up, Joe and Jane are sliding further into the deepest of sleeps. The establishment royally take the piss with their oppressive rules, ridiculous lies, and devastating decisions, and Joe and Jane Average decide the best thing to do is give them support. They are like the kid who hung around to get free cigarettes before school, taking the abuse from the elders and laughing along like a brain dead embarrassment. They didn’t seem to think having a Benson put out on their forehead in exchange for the last drags on a Sovereign was bad, after all, these guys were their mates!

Joe and Jane Average are also like those trapped in an abusive relationship, constantly being beaten with furniture and kitchen appliances day in-day out. You tell them that their partner is no good and they can do better with a partner who doesn’t smash a kettle into their chin because they forgot to cut their partners toast into soldiers, but they just say “it’s not what you think…” Joe and Jane Average will take whatever abuse that comes at them. They’ll also lap up every lie thrown into their brains. If you’re a serial cheater who has no concept of self-control and would happily bang your partners best friend in the closet whilst your partner cooks you both a stew, then you should get with a Joe or a Jane. You’ll get caught banging the gas engineer for sure, but then you can just say “I actually didn’t bang them… oh, and also, the definition of cheating is actually having sex with two other people at the same time. The gas engineer was, as you could see when I pulled my ting out of their dinner dispenser, just one person.” 

It’s a tragedy. 

Unfortunately, Joe and Jane Average are too busy to think about things such as human rights, the economy, and the abusive powers of the state. They’ve got Love Island and Strictly Come Dancing to worry about. They need to occupy their thoughts with what Prince Harry thinks about poverty. They need to be thinking about a new Air Fryer and the novelty experience it brings them for at least 3 days. Joe and Jane can’t be out in these streets thinking for themselves, they need to regurgitate talking points and hot takes that will make them seem like they are sentient beings. They can’t be spending valuable Candy Crush time on working out why the government imprisoned them and called them pieces of excrement when they went to visit their dying nan. 

If they are British it’s even worse. The British love to complain, it’s our number one pass time. It’s good that a gallon of petrol costs the same as a weeks holiday in a 4 star Marbella resort, because they get to complain about it everyday to everybody, who in turn can complain back at them. They can also post memes on Facebook that cause mild chortles amongst their friends. That really does create a wonderful millisecond of joy. They also need to taking photographs of everything they see, which is mostly themselves in the mirror or their phones viewfinder. They’re bloody busy don’t you know.

I understand why Pol Pot killed so many people. He just said “these bozos can’t be changed to think right, and I ain’t got the time, let’s just kill ‘em all.” Because Joe and Jane are really holding up progress and have no interest in going to war. They’ve been pushed so much, and yet they still can’t be bothered. In the end, whose side are they going to be on? 

Unlike Pol Pot, the government and media establishment, I don’t have such high levels of disdain for Joe and Jane Average, only disdain for them. Joe and Jane just need more severe levels of suffering to unwashed that brain of theirs. Problem with that is, we have to suffer even more too, and we’ve already had enough. 

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