Month: October 2020

50 cent and Ice Cube wearing Trump hats

50 Cent Gets Cancelled For Tax Purposes

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50 Cent Gets Cancelled for Tax Purposes

50 Cent Gets Cancelled for Tax Purposes

When I saw 50 Cent post a picture on Instagram of Joe Biden’s tax plans for selected states, 50’s comments did not surprise me. A huge tax bill of over 60% for the state 50 calls home was never going to be a popular policy for a man who has done everything he can to make sure his money is never taken from him. 50 Cent once declared bankruptcy for the sole purpose of not having to pay any money out to angry adversaries trying to sue him.

Curtis Jackson is a man who doesn’t care about what you think or your feelings, he is a driven self made individual who protects his bag. He’s not going to be keen on any idea that sees the government entitled to more of your money than you are. In the end, no-one really cares as much about personality as they do policy. No-one cares if Gillette are super sound to women, they want to shave their faces without slicing open their chins. So 50 Cent saying he would vote for Trump is unsurprising. But we must also remember that 50 is a tier one troll. 

50 Cent has said countless crazy things, often applying a zero chill approach, this statement related to tax bills is far from his craziest. Regardless of whether his tongue was poking his bullet ridden cheek, the hit pieces came in faster than Michael Johnson on a non-drug testing day.

I happened to see a Facebook post circulated to a hip hop group by Cracker-damus himself, Sean King. Sean had decided that the very day 50 had made such a comment that it was time to expose him. Sean ranted on about a photo of 50 posing with a man who King claimed was the most corrupt NYPD officer of all time, and a friend of 50’s. He went on in detail about the various crimes committed by this officer, finishing with how 50 should essentially be cancelled.

I’ll cut to the chase on this. Sean King had no incentive to let the world know about 50’s so called friend who had committed so many alleged crimes as a Police officer before 50 decided to make a quick statement, that may even be a joke, about voting Trump.

The hit pieces flew out so fast it took my breath away, and virtuous outrage mob of the hip-hop fandom community followed like good little Maoist hate mobs in attacking 50. This almost throw away comment, much like many of Trumps comments that were used as so called proof of his bigotry, was enough to lead to all out character assassination.

The left side of the aisle are very much the same as deranged Jihadis, once you leave you are an apostate who must be terminated. 50 Cent has a long history of endorsing corporate whore politicians, much like many other rick celebrities, but they were on team “good” so that was acceptable. Ice Cube just said he went with the political party who came with the best offer, which is what a good business decision is usually based on, but that was not OK, he was a traitor to The Cathedral and is now Benedict Arnold once again. It’s astonishing how fast they act to destroy people, and if there was ever a more blatant example of just how vile they are, this is surely the one. 

Not only does it expose their disgust for free thinking and wanting leverage, it also reveals it to a community synonymous with the black community. The hip-hop world was built on the underdog spirit and always had choice words for those who wanted to silence them.

From 2 Live Crew to NWA to 2Pac to Eminem, they establishment has done everything it can to silence and censor the art form. Now you have two very successful artists who have transcended being just rappers to media and business moguls, who have endured attacks from not just people in their musical and living communities, but also from the mainstream press and politicians, under attack from the whole left wing establishment.

Two artists who have donated and campaigned for this Cathedral and been embraced by all those who keep it in power. And yet, with a single Tweet or Instagram post, they are now to be cancelled. This may be a pinnacle moment where that hip-hop community sees how it all really works, and that community is at forefront of culture.

This could be a monumental event that shifts the entire political spectrum, because once that community see the left aisle for what it really is, their influence may just spread the message, and you might just see a very different mindset by 2024. 

Or maybe not. That’s what should happen, but whether it does, who knows. But what is clear is that two men who have faced cancellation from all sides for decades, who have overcome every attack imaginable to keep on an upward path to glory, may find themselves meeting their match. Irv Gotti did all he could to prevent 50 from getting a foot in the door, the gunmen who shot him 9 times almost stopped him from breathing and lost him a record deal, and others tried all they could to label 50 a snitch, but he survived it.

But 50 lives in the mainstream realm now, he has TV shows, TV deals, movie deals, book deals, product endorsements, and 50 has never had to properly face the full brunt of the NPC media and their henchmen. Looking back at every troll and aggressive move 50 has made over the years may make him seem like he can’t be cancelled, but they have never had a reason to drag all up to the kangaroo court of bad public opinion before. He’s got enough dirt to have a monumental public shaming, and regardless of whether Starz know exactly who they are doing business with, once the court of public opinion makes it’s demands, we may see 50 getting cancelled left right and centre. 

9 bullets couldn’t kill him, but suggesting he’d vote for Trump because he prefers his tax policies just might.

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The Big Ideas of Politicians Should Be Reserved for Instagram Influencers

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The Big Ideas of Politicians Should Be Reserved for Instagram Influencers

The Big Ideas of Politicians Should Be Reserved for Instagram Influencers

The Big Ideas of Politicians Should Be Reserved for Instagram Influencers

It is has become increasingly obvious to me that those who inform us, tell us what to do, and enforce policies are actually people who have no expertise.

Idealistic dream-weavers have taken positions that ought to be occupied by experts and pragmatists, people who study in the fields that dictate what should be done, people who can objectively make decisions and plan out the best methods to solves our problems. But instead of facts, we get feelings and aspiration memes, politicians, media personalities, and activists spew out drivel on a daily basis that should be on a vacuous Instagram influencers post feed, not written down by bureaucrats and enforced as policy that shapes our lives.

Instead of looking into the very real complexities of life, they choose to use a sequence of words and catch phrases that have about as much depth as a pool of tears left behind by a crocodile. When confronted with the task of solving the economic disparities of particular groups, they don’t bother to examine the abundance of contributing factors that cause the issue, no, instead they prefer to pick out a simple abstract cause, such as “racism” or “sexism”, and tell the people they will make policies that will eradicate these things. But racism and sexism, like many different bigotries, are way too abstract to be tackled.

When confronted with the task of lifting people out of poverty, instead of examining the various factors that lead people into abject poverty, they decide it’s much easier to just give people money, because they seem to think the supply of cash is infinite, and that it must grow on some tree somewhere, but they have never seen this tree, but they heard it exists so many times that they convinced themselves it’s real. We have people making decisions about economics who have no understanding of its basics, we have people making decisions about strategies to combat pandemics that have no clear understanding of virology, or even simple logistics.

These are the people with power. If these people worked for a business that provides the world with product innovation, we would find ourselves owning iPhones that have cerated edges that cut your fingers every time you reach into your pocket or handbag. These phones would also have a battery twice the size of the device that commonly oozes acid because the designer couldn’t be bothered to create more than one idea in his twelve second brain storming session.

These people are making decisions that affect every aspect of your daily life, there is so much regulation and policy inspired by abstraction from low-IQ dreamers that I am surprised the whole system of society has not spontaneously set on fire yet. It really is time we told the government to keep its nose out of most things, because politics will never attract greatness, it just attracts people who want to be liked and have idealistic and simplistic perceptions of a complex world. They are managers, they should just manage.

The best talent a politician has is to read what the people feel and repeat it back to them with a catchy slogan, there is little else they are equipped to do. A politician would be a better game show host or wedding party MC than they would an NLP practitioner or financial analyst, this is why the Obamas are producing documentaries and Tony Blair goes around talking to rooms of people, they could never be trusted to do something innovative or complicated.

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Celebrity Endorsements of Politicians Should Be Ignored

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What good are celebrity endorsements? They’re very good. Celebrities can dictate fashion and culture. No right-minded thug in the hood would drink Alize from just looking at the bottle or even from tasting it’s in your face sickly-sweet fruit assault. But Tupac drank Alize, and suddenly real manly men were necking alcoholic beverages that were best suited to 14 year old white girls crying on a park swing at 2am.

It’s amazing what they can do. However you may notice celebrities don’t often endorse, not are they asked to endorse, things like chemotherapy treatments, missile logistic software, or innovations in mineral extraction. That’s because these are complicated things, and celebrities, like many modern politicians, cannot process complicated things.

Celebrities prefer to be admired and gushed over, like notorious serial killers on death row who receive thousands of love letters from women who have truly given up on pursuing the non-existent Mr Perfect that their silly childhood books said exist. And there’s nothing better than receiving praise for doing nothing, this is the coolest hustle in history.

A celebrity can stand in front of a crowd and declare that they stand against racism, and the crowd will cheer. The celebrity will tell their adoring fandom that this is in fact a very brave thing to do, and the crowd agree, even though the concept of racism is almost unanimously denounced by the entire western world, and denouncing it is about as radical as a white girl wiping mayonnaise from her lip with a beige handkerchief in an egg shell white room; they still insist they are stunning and brave.

A celebrity endorsing a political party that is endorsed by 90% of the entertainment industry is as startling as Candace Owens denouncing abortion at a pro-life convention, you’re not going to raise too many eyebrows and your mansion will not be fire bombed by Rob Reiner.

Celebrity endorsements aren’t worth shit to intelligence, but are great for shallow one stop thinkers. Taylor Swift could endorse a eugenics program and thousands of little girls across the globe would get tattoos of Margaret Sanger on their recently cosmetically enlarged behinds (inspired by Kim K and the Cuties PR team). Dave Chappelle once joked about “somebody get Ja Rule on the phone so he can make sense of all this”, well sorry Dave, this is 2020 and Ja Rule is consulting an inner city commission on tax credits funded by the DNC.

I blame Tony Blair, because before he decided to invite Bono to the Northern Ireland peace talks, we had almost won the war on nonsense.
Thing about politics is it’s best left to people who understand stuff, and celebrities, especially musicians, ought to just do what they do, make music and sleep with fans. I’m about as interested in hearing who Future thinks you should vote for as I am hearing a Mike Pence DJ set at Sidewinder, stick to your lanes please.

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The Big Lady Buddha of Danang

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The Big Lady Buddha of Danang

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Sometimes, you just gotta do the touristy things.

The Lady Buddha of Danang is located inside the Linh Ung Pagoda courtyard on the Son Tra Peninsula, around 8km from where I stay in My An, Danang. She stands at around 220 feet tall and is one of the most famous attractions in Danang as well as holding the prestigious title of being the tallest Lady Buddha in Vietnam (I do not know who the second tallest is, but I imagine she is a little salty). The Lady Buddha looks out onto the sea and is said to bring peace and protection to the local sailors.

I had been meaning to visit the Lady Buddha for quite sometime, but like Christopher Moltesanti and the Volcano near Naples, I had never gotten around to it. However on a very hot day in late June, I finally made the journey to see the grand Lady Buddha and see what all the mild fuss was about. This was not my first experience of visiting a big Buddha, but it was my first encounter of a big lady Buddha…

  • Opening Times: unlisted (and unsurprising)

    You can visit all day long as far as I am aware.

  • Best Time to Go?

    There are less tourists there in the afternoon, but you will have to deal with the afternoon heat. Sunsets there are amazing, so aim to get the sites done by around 18:00 and enjoy.

  • Things to Be Aware Of?

    There's a lot of monkeys there. If, like me, that's your thing, all good. If not, proceed with monkey caution

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The Heaven and Hell Marble Mountain

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The Heaven and Hell Marble Mountain

The Heaven and Hell Marble Mountain

The Heaven and Hell Marble Mountain

With a hell cave below, and a heaven garden above, it's the perfect yin-yang day out!

The Marble Mountains are located around 9 km from Da Nang city and are one of those attractions that frequently touted as “must see”. There are five mountains in total and they are named after the five basic elements in Eastern philosophy: Mount Metal, Mount Plant, Mount Water, Mount Fire and Mount Soil. The mountains are steeped in interesting history, but it’s the legend of Marble Mountain that I like the best (being half Welsh I got a lot of time for dragons). Many many years ago, when times were simpler and man was rugged, a rather large dragon rose from the oceans and laid an egg inland. The egg grew to a gigantic size and when it eventually hatched after a thousand years (ancient dragons were known for a very long incubation period) it left behind five fragments of egg shell which formed, yes you got it, the Marble Mountains.

I visited the mountains with my better half, so she says, during the Tet holiday and the beginning of the covid pandemic. It was not as busy as expected and we spent most of our time on top of Mount Water, which is the mountain where you should spend most of your time, and inside the Hell Cave. I was unaware that the cave was called the Hell Cave at the time, and I would go on to label my experience “the heaven and hell mountain”. 

  • Opening Times

    07:00 am to 17:30 pm

  • Cost of entry

    Mount Water: 40,000 VND

    Hell Cave: 40,000 VND

    Elevator fee (we didn’t use it, but you may want to give it a go!): 15,000 VND

  • Best Time to Go?

    Anytime during the pandemic! But usually it gets quieter later in the afternoon.

  • Things to Be Aware Of?

    You have to pay to use the elevator to go both ways. You can get to the heaven top of mount water for free through the hell cave, but it's literally hell (as you can see in the video). This is at your own risk!

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Red Bar – Phnom Penh: A Familiar Wank Hole

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Red Bar - Phnom Penh: A Familiar Wank Hole in an Unfamiliar Place

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Red Bar - Phnom Penh: A Familiar Wank Hole in an Unfamiliar Place

Red Bar - Phnom Penh: A Familiar Wank Hole in an Unfamiliar Place

Hipster bars are now officially everywhere, there is not escape...

When I first researched Cambodia, I was given the impression that it was a run down Wild West type situation. On first inspection, I saw it was filled with fucked up looking westerners who had given up on Thailand, and in turn, given up on life. I was amazed to see a busted looking old honky-tron passed out stone cold on the bank of the Mekong river at 2 in the afternoon. Not long after that I saw another man in his 50's, pinging his ballsack off at a small cafe nearby. This fuck did't even have the decency to wear a t-shirt, just a grubby vest and skanked shorts covered in their bad choice of breakfast.
But these failures of societies blessed norms were a welcome site compared with what I witnessed at Red Bar.

Like many newbies in a strange city, I consulted google for guidance. Unfortunately google's algorithm has a tendency to prefer the mundane and played out. I searched for variables of the usual: best street food, best restaurants, best clubs, best markets, best bars. Now the latter is what we are focusing on, the rest is of no concern for you right now. But trust me, you'll want to have a long hard think about how you research ANY of these decisions in the future after reading these paragraphs of disdain.
The guide I selected was the same guide that told me about the other things I was looking to discover. Street food, restaurants, clubs and markets: Culture Trip. I won't put their web address in, they have paid me nothing and therefore I owe them fuck all. I will say they did good on the pizza place I found (because, you know, when in Cambodia you gots to have a pizza). When I looked at their guide for bars, I discovered a pattern of coincidence. Turned out that the Airbnb I had booked out of pure financial convenience was a skip and mince from the best bars, restaurants, and something else I can't remember. So it made sense to check out these places that came so highly recommended as they were so close.
Red Bar was described as some sort of hip tank hole, but I did not really care for that aspect, it was the $1 draught lagers that sold it to me. You cannot go wrong with that sort of deal. NEVER. Even during my first drinking excursion here I found two venues selling 75 cent draughts during happy hour time frames that would make any British man wet as a cum soaked cucumber. Those venues had appalling service and played the same song every 22 minutes, but I got drunk for the cheapest price I have paid in 25 years, so I didn't care.

Now paying $1 for drinks at a place that is on THE LIST of places to drink in a nations capital was too good to pass up. Plus, as mentioned, it was round the fucking corner.
Now let it be clear, I use to work in Shoreditch, in fact I worked there in 2006, 2007, 2008, 2015 and 2016. I did my tours of duty in wanker land, I earned these stripes. These stripes give me the expertise to judge a full functioning wank hole and warn potential customers of what pitfalls of spunk buggery awaits them.
This place had the cheap drinks, cheap cocktails, but also had the un-mistakebale musk of wank. Not just uber east London wank, but uber worldwide dry wank. Dry wank is the worse wank of all. It's not shit enough to laugh about, and it's not great enough to rave about. It has no emotion. It does not disappoint, it does not annoy, it does not please, it does not anger, it does not make you horny. It's juts there, and the patrons are just there. And the furniture is just there. It's all just there. That's it. Nothing to be angry about, nothing to be excited about. Just... nothing.
The clientele I first noticed were wacky Chinese tourists, at a guess, playing some variation of rock, paper, scissor that got them ever so excited. But that was as interesting as it got. One after another, various ex pat westerners entered and left, dressed in short shorts and forgettable t-shirts. They were the same person, flowing awkwardly in and out. Later on two Americans entered, their nationality was more obvious as they were louder than anyone else. One of them proceeded to talk about tech to the two east Asian looking ladies. Where they were from was not so obvious as they were quieter, so not so obviously American. When I am sat in a dry venue with aspirations of quirkiness and I hear Americans talk about tech, I know I am done. Too often when working near old street I would sit in Hoxton square during lunch breaks eating. Americans would circle the square in pairs having some sort of power walking meeting. As they would pass me by every few minutes, I would overhear tech talk and mutterings about social media engagement. This made me wish for some sort of apocalyptic incident to occur and annihilate the entire shit show of it all. These snippets of talk made me realise how London had been invaded and impregnated by wankery and there was no longer any hope.
The very small area where Red Bar contains a microcosm of wankery venues. This was what Hoxton and Shoreditch once was many years ago. It started so small that it was quaint and interesting. I'm sure that back then it was more interesting though as the age of wankery was not in full affect. But now the age of wankery has overstayed it's welcome and here it is, in Phnom Penh, a rugged third world city. It's a city that has no idea what wank awaits it in the future. This area will grow until it sprawls, and once it sprawls the prices will not justify putting up with a mundane experience that I had. Not one person here was excited or exciting, they were just there because that's where they are supposed to be.

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Can You Live in Danang for Under $400 a MONTH?

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Can You Live in Danang, Vietnam for Under $400 a MONTH?

Can You Live in Danang, Vietnam for Under $400 a MONTH?

Can You Live in Danang, Vietnam for Under $400 a MONTH?

Danang is cheap, but to live a "luxurious" and "comfortable" lifestyle for under $400 is a stretch.

You will often come across blogs and vlogs with clickbait titles, promising an depth look into how possible it is to live on a "buzzword" monetary amount. This started with "can you live in Thailand for under $600 a month", and has grown into it's own unique micro-niche. Where-as they do lay out how it can be done in these videos, they often leave out key details, and don't really know how to budget correctly or even do the research to find the best bargains. I am a man who believes in doing better.

In the video, "LIVING UNDER $400 IN DA NANG, VIETNAM | COST OF LIVING GUIDE IN DA NANG", Christian Rodriguez claims you can live a comfortable and "luxurious" lifestyle in the city of Danang Vietnam. Well I live there too and I'm gonna lay out what he gets right and what he most definitely got wrong!

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Negroni Lovers Tour of Danang

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A Big Old Negroni

Negroni Tour of Danang

Negroni Tour of Danang

Negronis aren't just a drink, they're a bloody good drink...

According to Campari Australia, those who drink Negronis regularly are witty, well-travelled, well-read and willing to spend big on a good meal. That sums me up proper. When I arrived in Danang in January 2020, one of the first searches I did was where can a man find a bar that will serve this witty well-read lunatic a Negroni? Turns out there’s a lot, well there were lots and lots, of places, particularly in the My An ward wear I lived. So, as a functioning smash hound who loves Negronis, I present to you a run down of the establishments I have hit up during my Negroni chasing adventures in Danang.

Oasis Tapas Bar

negroni-oasis-tapas-bar
negroni-oasis-bar-danang

The first Negroni I had in Danang was at a bar called Wanderlust (it soon died just after the second lock down in March). They use to Negroni Tuesdays where they were supposed to be 60,000! Unfortunately they seemed to forget about this rule when I turned up, and charged me 95,000. What a liberty. Shortly after this event I wish to forget I discovered that the famous Oasis Bar in My An served Negronis for 85,000, which is a very handsome price for a tight-fisted, I mean, bargain hunting gent like myself. The Negronis here were the fucking bomb. Mixed correctly with care, the attention to detail from the mixing technique to the ice cube to the fine print of orange peel were all first rate. Not only was it done with god-damn respect, the measures thrown into this saucy red fox were beyond generous.

The head bartender there was a quietly spoken psychopath, not because he strangled cats and posted severed fingers to the local authority building, but because he loved making big and strong drinks to fuck you up. I would always have three here, that was the standard, any more than three and you would be resembling My Khe beach on a blowy day: proper wavy. This is how you do it, this is how you satisfy a discerning punter like me and keep me coming back for more like a crackhead on sample day. This was a business model that should be shouted about by every business mogul online. Gary Vee should be doing daily Instagram videos declaring: “Oasis Tapas Bar Negronis are the fucking standard, raise your fucking game…” or something like that. You may realise that I have referred to Oasis in the past-tense, and that is because, like Wanderlust, it is no more. Oasis was an institution, it was one of the very first foreign owned bars in the My An area and had been doing great business for a decade. But 2020 has had no respect for anything, and around July time Oasis closed it’s doors for the last time. A fucking disgrace, can any other bar in the area meet it’s solid standard of smash???

sOul kitchen

Soul Kitchen in An Bang is a nice location right on the beach. A little overpriced, as these beach front joints tend to be, it is a relaxing spot, to extent! You will find yourself being pleasantly harassed by beach vendors flogging all sorts of wares and quails eggs. They smile a lot and are very friendly, but they do have similar traits to that of a small town night club sex pest. No does mean no to them. This is why many a man has developed the cold blank face stare. I use to think people were proper rude and entitled pricks based on the frequent use of the cold blank face, just staring into space dismissively like some Uber honky with a hookers elbow jammed up their Harris. However, as I have learned, these arseholes are wise arseholes, because if you have no intention of buying stuff you don't need not want, being smiley and engaging is just leading people on, and that's very mean.

On my previous two visits to Soul Kitchen I had not realised that they sold Negronis and I happened to find myself here on the random and was pleasantly surprised to see my mistress on the menu. At 120,000 dong it's in the higher price bracket, and basically that means it's 90,000 for the booze and 30,000 for the view. It's a good view, but the music they play in this joint doesn't compliment the sites of lush beach and ocean. It's more for complimenting the stench of trustafarian dreadlock stank and sweaty first world chub folds in a dirt hostel. I suppose those are minor gripes, but then again, being so complacent about these minor gripes is what drives some men to murder.

After consuming a tuna steak that my friend had been singing the praises of for some time and feeling mildly satisfied, it was time to consume a glass of the bosses nectar. I ordered the Negroni whilst my friend remained silent, only for the waitress to walk away and for him to suddenly inform me that these Negroni’s were no good. He said that they did not use Rosso Vermouth but orange juice instead. I was disgusted by this concept and equally disgusted that he did not inform me whilst making the order, but I’m an explorer, and sometimes you might have to experience some most dark and hideous things.

Fast forward a few minutes and she brought the Negroni over, from a distance it looked like a regular Negroni and once it had arrived it did not resemble the Frankenstein monster my friend had predicted. He was surprised by this, I was not, as I am an Englishman abroad and we don’t have any issue with causing offence so this waitress must have known I was not to be played with. What did shock me, and I am still recovering, was that instead of a signature orange peel, there was a whole round slice from what must have been the worlds biggest lime. A slice of lime in a Negroni? Not today satan! But, it was here now and I figured maybe this addition may open up doors to a whole new world of taste sensations yet experienced by a way above average human like myself. Unfortunately this was not to be, the lime did not add anything but it did not take too much away. This was by far the most average Negroni I have ever had, and when something is so difficult to fuck up that is quite an achievement to be honest. It was forgettable, except for the un-welcome presence of lime and the very idea that this could have been made with orange juice. That is unforgettable and unforgivable and lucky for them they narrowly escaped receiving a thoroughly stern dressing down on google maps.

negroni-craftsman-danang

the craftsman

the craftsman

I have only been to this place twice, and both times I only drank one drink, and it wasn't a Woo Woo. This place is where you expect to drink negronis, it's all jazzy, and like Hoxton ten years ago. Yes, it's a wanker hole. Let me clarify, I have no problem with countless jazz inspired speak easy cocktail joints, but if you don't admit to it's wankery and have the self awareness that you are committing an act of wankery by drinking there, then you need to call mumsy for a good drawing down. Noone likes moderate jazz, not even the musicians, it's just a lie we all partake in.
The level of wankery was at record breaking levels on this evening. Not only was I served a small complimentary bowl of salted popcorn, once a very kooky idea in East London toss holes, but I also received an auditory assault from the live jazz ensemble. Yes, ensemble, I will use this kind of talk when describing such experiences. You may have heard of scat singing, you may have seen it movie parody form, but to experience live in reality is something else. For two seconds I thought it was just Vietnamese, until the haunting reality kicked me in the Harris, this was scat talk. Surely this was some kind of, I dunno, prank or something bro. Buy it wasn't, and people were nodding and clapping with acceptance. I just couldn't accept this. And worse of all some boys were videoing and photographing this for what had to be promotional purposes, and I was caught on camera several times. I'm immortalised in wankery now. I hate technology.
But hey, the negroni though, that's why I subjected myself to such things. It was small in portions, but they had a very impressive trick to manipulate your expectations by plonking an ice cube inside the glass with a vast circumference. This made the whole glass look full to the brim with booze, when in reality, it was a quarter full of fight juice. Nice trick pal, but next time, give a man more bang.

paws

Opposite where Wanderlust once was, is a curious place that has deck chairs and sometimes plays Charleston infused house. Sounds terrible I know, but it's not so bad. On occasions I would have a massage and enjoy the relaxing aftermath sat on one of those deckchairs, drinking a cocktail whilst waiting for the sun to go away. This place does get busy, but I've never attended, unlike the craftsman, on a busy night. And nor would I want to, people are terrible, worse than hamsters. The negronis here are decent enough, priced at 100k, it's far superior to crazy cats lunatic offering. As far as quality goes, it's as good as one as one I would make myself, but it does come in a nice glass, the ice is a good size, and the booze content is agreeable. Jesus, what kind of ponsed up psychopath am I.

negroni-paws-bar-danang

apocalypse now bar

First time I came to the Apocalypse Now bar was when I first came to Danang. I understood the drill, it's a poncy beach bar with inflated prices, but I wanted the Mrs to at least have some boasting points on Instagram and this is the kind of place that would impress the easily impressed. It has the usual superficial charm that a middle aged tourist might think is mad hip. Loud obnoxious generic house music and cocktails in nice glasses, plus some live music interpretations of 70's pedophile rock. When I came I had no idea they sold Negronis and was on a budget at the time, but as soon as the sweet baller mistress was in view I had to succumb to her seductive calling. At that time it was pretty pricey, but upon my recent return the prices have well and truly been pumped up.more than a body steroids heads ball bag. I was almost so disgusted by the price I was close to causing a late scene before writing a very stern letter, but I refrained. The cocktail itself is adequate, but the price can blow a camper van of drag queens. If they took a moment to turn off their offensive plodding euro plop house music and let a man listen to the beauty of the ocean I might not be so critical, but they didn't and I will show no chill. This one can be given a miss and you will never regret that decision unless you intend to get knocked up by a 60 year old used car salesman.

Note: I do believe Apocalypse Bar is no more, it has not been open for a month or so now. Perhaps this was due to the storms and it being low season, but it most likely has been victim, like many venues in Danang, to the financial ruin of a post-covid closed border.